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A pretend cure for fibromyalgia - #HAWMC Day 16

by Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix

It's day 16 of the WEGO Health (they're @wegohealth on Twitter) Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge (HAWMC)*, in which they offer a blog prompt per day for a month, and organizers have given us a couple of options today. The one I chose is to pretend to be a news reporter (which should come easy, as that's what I'm trained to do) and announce an invention or cure for our condition. Here goes:

Fibromyalgia cure discovered!

Tens of thousands of women (and hundreds of men) across the nation are celebrating the discovery of a cure for fibromyalgia today, announced by the International Federation for the Finally Finding a Freakin' Cure for Fibromyalgia Foundation, or IFFFFCFF. The cure was announced at the organization's annual conference today in Chicago, held at the Hotel Monaco downtown.

Doctors around the world reacted swiftly to the announcement, which shocked many because of its simplicity and decisiveness: Fibromyalgia is cured by eating exactly 10 berries of the xoctylcatlimp tree, which is only found on one mountaintop high in the upper ranges of the Andes. A young woman who had the condition stumbled upon the cure accidentally while traveling with friends:

"We were hiking and had the munchies, and our sherpa told us xoctylcatlimp berries had excellent antioxidant qualities—and that it was good luck to just eat 10 of them, so we just went with it," said Jenni Prokopy, the young woman credited with bringing news of the cure back to the U.S. "The next day I felt so great, it was like I had a brand-new body. I thought it was a fluke, but each day of the trip I felt better and better, and it just hasn't stopped. It's incredible!"

Prokopy's health care team returned to the site of the berry-picking incident and performed extensive testing with hundreds of other fibromyalgia patients, with uniformly positive results. Doctors from around the globe are now testing the cure according to the standards of other countries, and so far, 37 other nations have decreed the cure to be valid. More news is expected from the conference tomorrow, when Prokopy herself will speak along with her health care team and her fellow travelers from the now-infamous berry-picking trip.

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*All month you'll see me reference #HAWMC as a hashtag in my headlines; that's so when I write about it, my references show up properly in Twitter and folks can find my Tweets. That's technology, folks!

Posted: 4/16/2011 in Inspiration

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